Blog Jam

For the last couple of days I've been thinking about this blog and how I should write something... I thought and thought and ate and thought and slept and thought. I had what I now call a blog jam. When you know there is something you want to write about but there are so many inferior ideas that the best ideas can't come through... or maybe, to be honest, it's just the opposite, there simply are no ideas, I don't know. But then I remembered a quote and it got me started.

I'm not sure who said it originally, but I heard the quote in the documentary Art and Copy. It is a documentary on the business of advertising and the quote goes like this, "The frightening and most difficult thing about being what somebody calls a creative person is that you have absolutely no idea where any of your thoughts come from really, and especially you don't have any idea where they're going to come from tomorrow."

It has now been six years since I decided I would pursue a career as a graphic designer. Maybe it was written in the stars, my dad is a graphic designer, and his dad was a printer. Maybe it was all I knew, or as I'd like to think, maybe I just got the creative gene passed down to me. The reason I hope this is true is because I strongly believe that one of the most difficult things to teach is how to be creative. You can teach students to "fill the well" meaning be around creative things, go to museums, read books, spend time in nature, or whatever. You can tell someone that an idea is or isn't creative but you can't simply say "be more creative next time" with the result that they come back with something obviously more creative.

I'd like to think that I'm the kind of person that can learn anything. As a kid I read books by Stephen Hawking. In high school my friends convinced me to take the calculus based AP physics class even though I was in in pre-algebra at the time. I got an A in the class and later in college I took a calculus class just to see if I could do it and got an A in that class as well. I got A's in econ and stats and accounting as well.

I say all of this not to brag but to explain that these are all subjects that can be learned by reading a book, working hard and asking questions to those that know. They can explain it and re-explain it until I finally understand. Maybe that's my point, that eventually all of these subjects can be understood with enough time.

Now, rewind a year. I made it into the graphic design program at BYU and was as a BA student (bachelor of arts). I finished all the core classes and applied to get into the BFA program (bachelor of fine arts, basically the same thing but less students, harder classes and more teacher time, oh and an extra year). I was nervous to apply, not only because it was a pretty big deal, it could mean a bigger starting paycheck out of college at a better job. But I was also nervous because the semester before I decided I would double major with another degree in business, design was still my dream but a business degree would set me up that more better for future goals, so I took 18 credit hours (the most allowed) and I was working three different jobs. Not all full time obviously but still a lot of pressure. So after all that I had a portfolio that I hoped was good enough but I knew deep down it wasn't great. So I dropped everything off in the application room and waited to hear back. I did hear back and I didn't make it. I really don't like failing but that is a theme for a future blog post.

I didn't make it but I was allowed to apply one more time so that summer, last summer, I spent nearly all day every day working on my portfolio trying to make it better. And, in the end, the ideas came and the projects came together in time. I was fortunate enough to make it the second time I applied and enjoyed a year of terribly hard work this last year.

The point of the story is to hopefully support the quote from the beginning, that as I sat alone in the nearly completely vacated library last summer I was terrified. As I begin a new project or rework an old one I am terrified. Terrified because I don't know where my last idea came from and terrified that it may have been my last. What if I had no more good ideas...? At the same time that I am terrified, however, I feel comforted because I can sit and look back at past projects that have come and gone and see that ideas do come. Some solutions to problems come faster then others, and there are some projects that I have finished months ago that I still think about because I know that there is a better solution, I just haven't found it yet.

Maybe that is why I love graphic design. Under everything I like solving problems, and finding solutions. Every problem has a solution, maybe every problem has many solutions, it's just a matter of finding the right one. And there is a rush associated with finding that solution, semi-euphoric moment of bliss and happiness that makes all the moments of terror and frustration worth the work.

I'm sure there is much more that can be said on the subject and maybe none of this even makes sense. Along with not enjoying the fact that I don't know where my next idea will come from I also don't enjoy going back and reading over what I've written, so...... again, sorry if my ramblings don't make sense.

Also, I feel like I need some sort of tag line to end my posts with, like "and now you know the rest of the story" or something. I'll work on it.